Hello everyone, happy new year!! I'm happy to be writing again :)).
As I mentioned, I needed to understand how this blog was going to be edifying, and to whom, and it’s been revealed to me that I would love to direct the messages I post to the difficulties of being a young Christian. Although this is what a lot of the blog will be focused on, the principles of the Bible remain for everyone, and these principles will be what I talk about. It will always be God related content, and everyone needs some of that. On that note, I would love to get into the topic of discussion for today! This will be titled, “Feeling alienated: Relationships, Friendships, and Experiences.” I am very very excited to talk about this, as it is a large part of my journey with Christ, and always relevant.
Truthfully, I have never been in a relationship with anyone. If I look back to the past, I think it had an effect on my self-confidence and self-worth, especially in my teenage years (which was like last year lol). God has rapidly changed for this for me though, to the point where I can now look back at pictures and realise how significant my change has been. Remembering that at the times of the pictures taken, I had no confidence, boldness, or even at one point, joy. I was extremely down, and although I don’t think relationships was solely behind that, it influenced something. The desire to be pursued had never been fulfilled, yet everyone got into relationships like that, and I felt like an outlier. Sometimes I still do. When someone has an intense desire to love and be loved, they can quickly become lonely, and feel like this, an outlier. Especially if they’re not looking to God for comfort and looking to different vices to fill a void. But even aside from that, sometimes it can just hurt to see others experience something so easily and yet be so foreign to you. It is important not to let this slip into covetousness or jealousy and to ensure this, we have to remind ourselves where God is in all of this, and that is right next to us.
Even when we feel lonely, the definite truth is that God is with us, and He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). So, in trying times, when you’ve been in your singleness season for some time, take comfort in this fact. None of us are ever alone, and you won’t feel as though something is constantly missing or that you’re at a disadvantage, if you’re allowing God to fulfil your every need. Even the need to be pursued! He can be your everything. Insecurity and a need for validation can easily creep in, traits that do not fit in with the identity that we have in God. Insecurity and the need for validation being behind the desire for a relationship is real, (some may see it as something that applies more to teens/young adults who are still young and are not yet in relationships. Older adults who are not in relationships may have deeper fears that are rooted in their age). For those who think validation and insecurity is not what is driving their desire to be in a relationship, I want to just encourage that you God hears.
I want to let you all know that God is attentive, He cares about both the big and small. I have definitely felt that in the past couple of months, and have nicknamed them ‘little hugs’, reassurances of God’s presence and awareness of what I’m facing or what has made me uncomfortable that day. A concrete story is that of Hagar in the Bible who actually names her son Ishmael which means ‘God hears’. A little bit of background on Hagar: Abraham’s (then Abram) wife Sarah (then Sarai) had an Egyptian slave called Hagar. The couple had been promised a child by God but had decided to take matters into their own hands by deciding that they could build a family through Hagar, instead of waiting on God for His promise. When Hagar got pregnant, she looked down on her mistress and as a result, Sarai mistreated her, so she fled. Genesis 16 Verse 7 starts off with, ‘The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert,’ which means the Lord was looking! After this encounter, Hagar gives the Lord the name “El Roi” which means “The God who sees me,” and rightfully so! The Lord sought her out and understood what it is she needed. He was very much aware of what she was going through and spoke directly to that. Having seen this example, we now have the responsibility to trust that the Lord (proverbs 3:5-6) sees us too, is aware of our situation and feelings, and will do something on your behalf that shows you He sees you too. I’m just learning more about trust myself, and shifting my attention to it, but from what I understand, trusting the Lord with your hearts desires requires patience, faith, and hope. The three together are unshakeable and will hold you up. We can only do this to someone we know though, so some of the onus is on us to learn more about God’s Word and the truth. Then you would know things like Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11 etc. and see what God’s objective is over our lives. Meditating on them constantly is the way to go.
At the end of the day, it can be really hard to not place such value in something the world does, but the world’s voice does not need to be the loudest one! And below, I’ve just listed a couple of practical tips for you, in this time.
- Acknowledge how you’re feeling –You need to be honest with yourself to be completely honest with God.
- Note how you’re feeling and when – could also note some behaviours or tendencies have risen as a result.
- PRAY without ceasing.
- Maybe discuss with friend – iff you don't have any friends that you would like to share this with, come to my page and see what I’ve recently posted ;) , even if you have friend. Or, you can always always always reach out to me through email. I am eager to hear from you too.
I love you with the love of God. Thank you for reading <3
SOTW: NOT ALONE BY SSTEDI