Hello everyone,

I thought it would be good to provide a bit of clarification about where I'm currently at and how I got to this. At the beginning of my second year of university, my mother passed away suddenly, in a car accident. When I first found out, I was at university and was quite literally about to perform a dance routine for the first years that were moving in that weekend. This was the day after the incident had happened, unkown to me. Although it had quite literally felt like a nightmare, I still couldn't help but feel okay? It was like, I was sad, obviously, but only my exterior (my flesh) was. To put it simply, I wasn't shaken, and that scared me a lot. It made me feel guilty and ashamed. I thought, "I must be numb or detached or something?" "Am I a psychopath?" 'Do I not care about anybody?" Even now, I can still struggle to accept the peace I feel. I know that what it is, what it has to be, is the peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). 

Now, I have been in the church my entire life, but never have I experienced the Word to be true in this way. It's like, yeah, I've read it and all, but seeing it like this? I the severity of this situation? I have never seen such a thing.